


hold me by the heart

by fraisedesbois



Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Motherhood, Pregnancy, firby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraisedesbois/pseuds/fraisedesbois
Summary: "And just like that, they were a family."Follow Kirby and Fallon through their journey to motherhood, one hug at a time.
Relationships: Kirby Anders & Fallon Carrington, Kirby Anders/Fallon Carrington, Steven Carrington/Sam "Sammy Jo" Jones
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. a positive hug

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Amanda for beta reading again! ♡

Have you ever noticed how when you are anxious, every little noise that usually goes unnoticed can suddenly become the loudest, most obnoxious sound you have ever heard? Kirby was sitting on the edge of the bed, barely capable of keeping still, and all she could think about was just how loud the ‘tick-tock’ of the watch on her wrist was. She was almost hypnotized by it while trying to remind herself of the breathing exercises she had learned in therapy a few years ago. So far they hadn’t been very helpful in calming her down, but to be completely honest, she wasn’t sure anything actually could. Even the birds chirping outside the bedroom’s windows were considered an annoyance today. She usually loved hearing them sing first thing in the morning - it made her feel like Cinderella getting woken up by all of her animal friends. Today, though, Kirby wasn’t in the mood to play pretend. It wasn’t that she had woken up on the wrong side of the bed - she wasn’t even in a bad mood at all - but her stress levels were high, and her mind could only focus on one thing. Feeling her palms getting sweaty, she wiped them down on her pants and started nervously tapping her right foot on the hard wooden floor. She felt like she was going to get sick. Eyes glued on the bathroom door, she couldn’t wait for it to open. How much longer would it take?

“Fallon?” She heard herself call out. It had escaped her mouth before she even had the chance to realize that she had spoken, her impatience getting the best of her. She had said it loud enough that the other woman could hear her in the other room. Kirby waited for a few seconds. When no answer came, she got up from the bed and walked up so close to the bathroom door that the tip of her nose could almost touch it. She pressed one hand to it for balance and knocked softly with the other. 

“Fal, are you ok in there?”

Still no answer, but Kirby could hear movement on the other side. She backed away from the door quickly, right before it opened and Fallon walked out of the bathroom. She had a full face of makeup on, just like any other morning. She looked like she was ready to get her day started, except for the perfectly put together outfit that still needed to be pulled out of her closet. Studying her carefully, Kirby noticed that her wife seemed a little paler than usual, but it was so faint that it was unlikely that anyone else could see the difference from how Fallon usually looked, especially since she was already naturally pale. Everything else was on point, including her sharp liner. No shaky line there. She looked in absolute control and like this morning was the beginning of any other normal day. Except it wasn’t.

“We have to wait eight minutes,” Fallon said, her voice sounding a little deeper than usual but showing absolutely no other sign of anxiety. Kirby had already sat back down on their bed, expecting Fallon to join her so they could anxiously wait for the test to be ready together. Instead, she watched the other woman wrap herself in her long silk kimono robe, tying the belt in a perfect bow around her waist before walking up to their walk-in closet.

Kirby got up again and silently followed Fallon. She stopped herself in the doorway and quietly rested her back against the wall. Fallon wasn’t looking at her. In fact, she hadn’t really looked at her since coming out of the bathroom. She was now focused on the clothing rack full of expensive dresses in front of her. Examining her options carefully, Fallon eventually pulled out one of her favorite dresses and took it off the hanger. She took off her silk robe, letting it drop at her feet and she stood there for a moment in nothing but lingerie, with Kirby still watching her from the doorway. The redhead couldn’t take her eyes off of Fallon. Now was clearly not the time to get horny, but she couldn’t ignore how hot her wife was and how much she wanted to touch her. It was like her skin had some weird magnetic power that Kirby couldn’t resist. Fallon took her time to slip into her dress, slowly pulling it up her legs, past her hips and all the way to her chest. She tried to pull the zipper on the side by herself; meanwhile, Kirby continued to watch her in silence. Growing frustrated, Fallon blurted out a few curse words when she realized that she couldn’t zip it all the way. Without another word, she turned to Kirby and silently pleaded for her help.

“Here,” the redhead walked up to her wife and took matters into her own hands. “Let me,” she said as she effortlessly pulled the zipper, successfully closing the dress. 

“Thank you,” Fallon mumbled.

Kirby stayed close to her and pressed her lips on Fallon’s bare shoulder. “What’s wrong?” She finally asked.

Fallon tried to pretend she hadn’t heard the question and ignored her. Kneeling down on the floor, she kept looking through her closet for the perfect pair of shoes to go with her dress. Kirby put one hand on her, moving it gently across her back. She grabbed a pair of red bottoms on a higher shelf and handed them to her wife. Fallon looked up, a little surprised.

“I like it when you wear these.” Kirby held out a hand to help the other woman up. Both of their hands were warm and a little sweaty. Kirby smiled. 

“What’s wrong, Fallon? Talk to me,” Kirby tried again. 

The shorter woman was now looking up at her, holding the pair of high heels in her hands, obviously not sure of what to say or do next. Just looking into her eyes was enough for Kirby to understand that they needed to have a serious talk. She pulled Fallon by the hand and led her back to their bed. She sat down and tapped the empty spot next to her. The brunette rolled her eyes, but she dropped the shoes on the floor and accepted the invitation to sit down. 

“Now, tell me. What is it?” Kirby was looking at her expectantly. She didn’t look mad, but she did seem to be bit concerned. Without a doubt, she wanted answers and she wasn’t about to drop the subject.

Fallon felt bad for how she was behaving, but she also felt scared and she didn’t know how to hide it from Kirby. Mentally admitting this to herself instantly forced her to realize that she didn’t have to. In fact, she shouldn't. Kirby was right there next to her, practically begging her to spill whatever was on her mind.

“...What if it’s negative?” Fallon asked nervously. “I mean, what if I can’t get pregnant?”

Finally allowing herself to feel the wave of emotions she had been trying to push back, Fallon looked like she was on the verge of a meltdown. She wasn’t crying, but her eyes looked sad, and Kirby could tell that she was struggling to breathe comfortably. Her chest kept rising up rapidly, and she soon had one hand holding her throat. 

“Breathe.” 

That sounded like a good idea - if only Fallon could actually do it. She tried, but it felt like she was helplessly gasping for air, the weight on her chest too heavy for her to just let go and relax. 

“Breathe with me,” Kirby repeated as calmly as she possibly could.

She took Fallon’s free hand and pulled it up to her chest, making her feel where her heart was. She slowly inhaled and exhaled a couple of times, trying to ground them both and make the brunette feel better. Fallon had closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on Kirby’s breathing.

“You’re okay,” Kirby whispered. 

It wasn’t unusual for Fallon to freak out or even to experience anxiety. She had always had a tendency to struggle with her emotions. No matter how hard she tried to get better at it, it was like second nature for her. Her natural initial reaction was always to try and hide what she was feeling inside and how upset she truly felt when something bad or stressful was happening. Since being in a serious relationship with Kirby, this had become one of their biggest issues they had to work through together. To be honest, the redhead wasn’t always good at communicating and navigating through her own emotions either, but at least she had an easier time trying. This was definitely something they both struggled with. In many ways, they had gotten better, but they still had a long way to go, especially Fallon who, for some reason, always had the strongest anxious reactions.

Kirby waited for Fallon to calm down before talking again. ”You need to get out of your own head, babe. If it’s negative, we’ll try again,” she said slowly but firmly. “And if the IVF isn’t working, we’ll try something else,” she added simply, as if it all made perfect sense and there was no reason to worry about it at all. “We’ve talked about it already. We’ll figure it out together.”

Kirby offered her best reassuring smile. She had successfully put aside her own stress over the result of the test to take care of Fallon. The test... she had almost forgotten about it. She gave a quick glance at the clock on her night table. The eight minutes were up. That meant the test was ready and the results were already showing in the bathroom where Fallon had left the stick she had peed on.

This was their second try at reciprocal IVF. They were at a stage in their life and in their marriage where they both felt ready - and even impatient - to start a family. They had talked about it for a long time before deciding to start the process. Everything had felt pretty natural to them, every decision coming easily, without needing to argue or debate too much. Like in most other aspects of their marriage, and despite their differences, they were in almost perfect sync when it came to procreating and how they wanted it done. It had been decided that for their first kid that Kirby would the egg donor and Fallon, the one to carry the baby. 

Their first IVF failure a few months ago had crushed Fallon. Both of them, really. But Fallon and Kirby had gotten back up on their feet quickly, ready to try again as soon as they were able to. The process wasn’t a fun one. The worst part hadn’t even been something that Fallon had to go through herself - the worst part for her was when she had to watch Kirby give herself a daily shot of fertility drugs for two weeks straight. Maybe Fallon had cried a few times, letting her irrational fear of needles get the best of her. Maybe this whole thing had turned her into a bit of an emotional mess before she even had the chance to get pregnant. But somehow, they had made it through a second round together, hoping with everything they had in them that this time around things would be good and that there would be a tiny little red-headed baby in their arms in a few months. But as positive as they had tried to be throughout their second round of IVF and as supportive and encouraging their doctors had been, assuring them that it wasn’t unusual for the first try to fail, Fallon still wasn’t able to completely shake off the feeling of guilt their first try had initiated in her.

“All the testing we did was good, Fallon. Remember? There’s nothing wrong with you, everything is working great. You’re in the best shape of your life, you’re healthy. There’s no reason that you wouldn’t be able to carry our child,” Kirby continued.

“But what if I have some weird abnormality that the doctors can’t detect or explain?” Fallon asked, obviously still in need of reassurance.

“I highly doubt that’s the case,” Kirby answered with an encouraging smile.

“What if I’m a terrible mother?” Fallon’s face dropped as soon as she had blurted it out. She couldn’t look at Kirby anymore, too embarrassed by the thoughts that were suddenly worrying her. 

Feeling overwhelmed by a need to love Fallon a little harder, Kirby scooted closer to her on the bed. She gently pulled her chin up, forcing her wife to make eye contact again.

“Where is all this coming from? You were so excited last night,” the Australian asked, feeling genuinely concerned about these new fears that seemed to have appeared all in one night and found a way into her wife’s head.

“I–” Fallon hesitated. She struggled to keep her eyes locked into Kirby’s. “I’m freaking out, Kirbs.” 

“Yeah, no kidding?!” Kirby laughed lightly.

“I’m serious,” Fallon complained. “Aren’t you scared of messing this up? We’re talking about an actual walking, talking, and breathing human being that you and I will be in charge of. We could mess them up like our parents messed us up. Isn’t that terrifying?”

“Honestly?” Kirby pretended to think for a few seconds. “Not really,” she shrugged. “I mean, when I think about having a baby with you and raising a family together, I don’t feel scared,” she said. “I feel happy.”

A tiny smile appeared on Fallon’s face. It was faint, but it was there. Kirby knew she was going in the right direction, saying exactly what her wife needed to hear to feel better.

“Plus, we’re not our parents. We’ve both learned from their mistakes, and we both know what we absolutely don’t want for our kids. Maybe it won’t be perfect, but we’ll do our best.” Kirby took Fallon’s hand and squeezed it into hers. “We’ve got this, Fallon.”

For the first time this morning, Fallon felt a little lighter. The heavy weight on her chest, although not completely gone, didn’t make it impossible for her to breathe anymore. Carried by Kirby’s strength, she was slowly feeling confident again. 

“Not only do I think that you’ll be an amazing mum, but I also think you’ll be the hottest one in Atlanta. How could I be terrified of that?” Kirby asked, her eyes falling on Fallon’s cleavage.

Following the other woman’s gaze, Fallon looked down at her breast and rolled her eyes.

“You’re an idiot.” The brunette laughed and reached forward to kiss Kirby. “I think I’m ready,” she whispered, just as their lips were separating. 

Kirby nodded. They were both ready. 

They had agreed that the taller woman would be the one to get the test in the bathroom, but she wasn’t allowed to look at it. She had to bring it back to the bedroom where they would look at it together. Following through on her promise, Kirby picked up the test where Fallon had left it near the sink, her eyes barely open, afraid that she would accidentally read the result before getting back to Fallon, who was sitting still on their bed when Kirby came up to her again, her hands behind her back.

“Did you look?” Fallon asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course not!” Kirby exclaimed. She frowned, feeling a little offended that her wife wouldn’t trust her not to peek.

“Should we look now then?” 

There were a few seconds of heavy silence before Kirby started to pull the test from behind her back.

“Wait!” Fallon screamed suddenly.

Kirby sighed. “Fallon...”

The brunette covered her eyes with both of her hands and insisted, “I can’t look, I’m too scared. You do it first.”

“That’s not what we agreed on, Fallon. Are you sure?”

She nodded, her hands still fully covering her eyes. “Just tell me when you’re about to look,” she added.

There were another few seconds of silence.

“Ok,” Kirby warned. “I’m gonna look now.”

Fallon kept her eyes shut and her hands securely on her face while Kirby brought the pregnancy test in her line of vision. She stared at it for a few seconds, not sure what to do or say.

“One line means not pregnant, two lines means–” Fallon’s reminder was suddenly interrupted by a loud sob. Opening her eyes again, she looked at Kirby who was standing in front of her, holding the test in her hands, her face covered in tears. “Are you crying?” Fallon asked carefully, even though the answer was obvious. 

She wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or a bad one, but all she knew was that she also wanted to cry now. She got up, and before she could say anything else, Kirby held the pregnancy test right under her nose.

“It’s–” Fallon’s voice cracked and she covered her mouth instantly, refusing to let out the surprised gasp that was begging to come out of her.

“Positive!” Kirby finished for her.

Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face too. It was a mix of happiness and intense relief. Kirby laughed and opened her arms to envelop her wife in the tightest embrace she could offer. Fallon wasn’t sure if she had ever been squeezed this hard in her entire life.

“You’re pregnant!” Kirby squealed.

They were both smiling and laughing through the tears, mumbling words that neither one of them could really comprehend, but they didn’t need words to know that both of their hearts were throbbing in unison at this very instant. They both felt it, wrapped in each other’s arms. Kirby picked up Fallon from the ground and twirled at the foot of their bed, Fallon’s face buried in her flamboyant red hair, until she felt so dizzy that she made them both fall back onto the mattress. Wrapping herself around Fallon’s body like a koala, Kirby covered the other woman’s face with kisses. Her forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her mouth… There wasn’t a part of her face she didn’t press her lips on.

“I can’t believe this.” Fallon was out of breath from the laughing and the twirling and all the excitement. This was, without a doubt, the best day of her life. Suddenly everything felt possible, every dream, every goal… and every battle or hardship they had gone through was worth it. Suddenly, life made sense in the biggest most beautiful way.

“We’re having a baby,” Kirby blurted out with a big smile. She wanted to scream out the good news from the rooftops, just so that it would be even more real. Although she was incredibly happy, she also hadn’t completely wrapped her head around the fact that this time, their biggest dream was really set to come true. She would still need to say it a few times out loud to believe it. 

She detached herself from Fallon to roll onto her side and looked at the other woman, who did exactly the same. They held hands with their fingers intertwined and Kirby moved her arm back around her wife. Neither one of them feeling ready to let go. In fact, they were pretty sure they would have been happy cuddling each other for the rest of eternity. Fallon could hardly believe that soon enough, a newborn would be joining their nest and sharing their forever. This was the craziest thing they had ever done; their wildest adventure. Yet, it was the one thing they were both absolutely sure about. 

“We’re having a baby,” Fallon repeated enthusiastically.

And just like that, they were a family.


	2. a hormonal hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU AMANDA FOR BETA READING!! you're the absolute best.

Saying the past week had been a difficult one for Fallon would be an understatement. In her own words, without a single drop of exaggeration or dramatic emphasis, she just had the worst, most painful, gut-wrenching week one could ever have. Everything had gone from bad to worse. 

It started first thing in the morning on Monday, when she got to the office and noticed that a plant on her desk looked quite unwell. She usually never really paid attention to those things and simply used to replace them whenever a plant was dead because she had forgotten to water it for months. She never gave it a second thought. Well, at least not until this past Monday. See, it wasn’t just any plant that looked unwell that morning. It was a tiny cactus Kirby had gotten for her a few months back because she thought it was cute and it reminded her of Fallon in a weird funny way that only they understood. It was a joke between them, one that made both of them laugh, and pout a little in Fallon’s case. Unfortunately, Fallon wasn’t laughing when she realized her tiny cactus was apparently dead. She had called Allison into her office immediately, asking her how the hell she could have let this happen. Then, she called Kirby in tears, repeating the same question over and over. How could she be a mother if she couldn’t even keep a cactus alive? Kirby had tried her best not to laugh. It was Fallon’s first meltdown of the week, and she didn’t know it yet, but it would be the first of many to follow. On Tuesday, Fallon got upset when she couldn’t find her glasses. She had been looking for them for nearly thirty minutes when Kirby walked in and told her that they were sitting on her head the whole time. Later that night, she cried because she felt exhausted and she didn’t have the strength to take off her own makeup. She fell asleep as Kirby did it for her. On Wednesday, Fallon tried to make up for the cactus by attempting to cook breakfast for Kirby. Somehow, Fallon had convinced herself that Kirby was upset with her over the tiny cactus incident, even though Kirby had already insisted she wasn’t. She even offered to get Fallon a new one, which actually made her wife more upset for reasons that were still unclear. No matter how hard Kirby tried to comfort Fallon, it seemed like the other woman was just dead set on being upset and emotional. Way too emotional. It didn’t take long for Kirby to understand that this was most likely due to the pregnancy hormones. She made sure to be extra supportive and nice to Fallon throughout the week, trying her best to anticipate any possible meltdown. But even with all of her efforts, it didn’t stop Fallon from sobbing at least three or four times every day. It was exhausting for them both. That Wednesday morning, Kirby got woken up by the fire alarm. After rushing downstairs still half asleep and in her underwear, she found Fallon in tears, trying to put out a small fire that she had accidentally started by the stove. She was just trying to make pancakes, but instead she nearly burned down their house. The kitchen was a mess, and so was she. On Thursday night, Fallon insisted on watching one of Kirby’s favorite movies, _Marley and Me_ . Kirby begged her to watch something else, anything else, but there was no negotiating with a stubborn Fallon. She didn’t even make it to the end of the film before she started bawling her eyes out. They ran out of tissues by the ending, and Fallon had to use a roll of toilet paper to dry her tears, which also made her upset because apparently the paper was a little too harsh for her sensitive eyes. On Friday night, Fallon came home and immediately rushed to the freezer. A few seconds later, Kirby heard her screaming her name. When she joined Fallon in the kitchen, she found her crying and assumed she had somehow hurt herself. The reality was much worse in Fallon’s opinion. 

“Did you...did you eat the last Thin Mint cookies?” Fallon asked, visibly upset.

Kirby’s mouth dropped open, and it took her a few seconds to collect herself and reply very carefully. 

“Hm... yes?”

Fallon sighed. She appeared to be a mix of disappointed and angry. Her face was red, and Kirby wouldn’t have been surprised to see smoke come out of her ears.

“Babe, you hate Thin Mints...” Kirby tried.

“I do not!” Fallon retorted, nearly screaming.

Before Kirby even got the chance to understand what was happening, Fallon had grabbed two boxes of Do-si-Dos from a cabinet and walked straight past her, bumping her a little on the side and mumbling about how much she hated Girl Scouts anyway. Kirby was left dumbfounded in the kitchen for a while. Was Fallon going to be like this for the whole nine months of her pregnancy? She wasn’t mad at her or anything, but she was worried she wouldn’t be able to enjoy being pregnant as much if she was just in a bad mood the entire time. 

The week had come and gone, and the weekend was finally here. So far, their Saturday had gone smoothly. It was the first day of the week that Fallon hadn’t cried about something, and Kirby was hoping it would stay that way. She made sure to let Fallon know she was available to hang out with her or help her with anything she needed, but she also tried to give her some space to cool down. They managed to both spend the day in the house but in different rooms. It wasn’t ideal, and Kirby hated feeling like she was walking on eggshells around Fallon, but she also hated seeing her upset and she felt like her presence had a way of triggering Fallon that she really wanted to avoid today. So, even though she would have preferred hanging out with her wife, Kirby stayed out of her way for most of the day, and it wasn’t until the late afternoon that she came upstairs to look for her. 

“There you are!” Kirby exclaimed, entering one of the guest rooms. “I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes. Didn’t you hear?”

Fallon turned around and looked at her the same way a deer caught in a car’s headlights would. It took a second for Kirby to notice how messy the room was and what Fallon was wearing.

“Are you playing dress up?” Kirby asked with a hint of playful mockery, a familiar tone they both liked to use to tease each other. She immediately regretted it when she saw Fallon roll her eyes at her and sigh.

“No, I was just trying to clean and I found this box of my old school stuff,” Fallon shrugged. “My old uniform was in there, so I just wanted to see how I’d look in it now.”

The skirt was pulled past her hips, but she obviously wasn’t able to fit into it - the zipper remained open. Her blouse looked way too tight around her breast, and the jacket was at least four inches too short. In fact, it was so tight that there was no way she could have raised her arms up without tearing the jacket apart. 

“Are you stuck now? Do you need help getting out of the clothes?” Kirby asked as she stepped closer, ready to help get the jacket off of Fallon’s shoulders.

“What?” Fallon stopped her. “I’m not stuck, Kirby. I can move!” 

She tried raising her arms but couldn’t get them very high. Kirby had to bite the inside of her cheek to avoid laughing. Frustrated, Fallon made some quick gestures and they suddenly heard the jacket rip.

“Damn it!” Fallon groaned. She looked at herself in the mirror in front of her, trying to detect where her school uniform had ripped. She looked upset.

Sensing that another meltdown was about to take place, Kirby quickly tried to defuse the tension that was already building up. “It’s ok, I’m sure we can fix it. Why don’t you take it off and go get ready for tonight?” 

Kirby spoke softly, hopeful that Fallon would cooperate without a fight. She watched her looking at her reflection in the mirror. One of her hands was on her stomach, where a small baby bump had already started to grow. It made Kirby smile. Fallon wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, wiggled out of the jacket, dropped the skirt at her feet and turned back to Kirby. 

“Wait, did you say I should get ready for tonight?” Kirby nodded. “Ready for what?” Fallon asked.

“...Steven and Sam are coming over for dinner, remember?” 

Fallon obviously didn’t remember. She gasped loudly. “I swear, this pregnancy brain is going to kill me.” She facepalmed herself. “I’m sorry, I completely forgot.” 

“Don’t worry about it, dinner is already taken care of. You just need to show up downstairs when you’re ready. They’ll be here in about an hour.”

Fallon pouted, visibly annoyed at herself. She gave Kirby a mumbled thank you and let her kiss her cheek on her way out of the guest bedroom. Left to clean up the mess, Kirby picked up as much stuff from the floor as she could in one go and shoved everything back in the closet. She hoped the evening would go smoothly.

An hour later, surprisingly right on time, Steven and Sammy Jo were at the door, wearing their best suits and carrying a bottle of excellent wine and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. Kirby happily invited them in and offered to take their coasts. The three of them joined the living room and sat down on the sofa, in front of the coffee table full of appetizers that Kirby had prepared. 

“Wow! Did you make all of this?” Sam asked with sparkles in his eyes, as always when he was looking at food.

“Yes, but wait until you try my vegan lasagna, you’re going to die!” Kirby bragged, smiling wide.

“Oh, you guys are still doing the vegan thing?” Sam asked, a little disturbed.

“Don’t start,” Steven said as he gently patted his husband’s knee.

“I didn’t even say anything!” Sam defended himself.

The three of them laughed and talked a little more about the food Kirby had prepared for them. She asked about their week and proceeded to listen to Sam tell her all about the crazy clients he had to deal with at the hotel. His hotel stories were always very entertaining, and sometimes Kirby wished she was still working with him at the La Mirage. She missed her party planning days, although she was happy with her current position at Femperial. Plus, she loved working with Fallon.

“Guys,” Kirby said, suddenly sounding very serious. “Before Fallon comes down, I have to tell you that she’s been feeling extra sensitive the past few days. I think the pregnancy is messing with her hormones and she’s gone a little...” Kirby hesitated on what word she should use exactly

“...Godzilla?” Sam asked.

“No!” Kirby gave him a slap on the shoulder. “Shut up, Sam! If you make her cry tonight I will kill you. Got it?”

Steven laughed. “Is it really that bad?” He asked.

Kirby didn’t answer, but she glared at them for a few seconds in a way that confirmed it was, indeed, that bad. A few seconds later, they heard Fallon coming down the stairs and the three of them instinctively sat up a little straighter. As soon as Fallon made an appearance in the living room, Steven got up to greet his sister. 

“Sorry, I’m late in my own house,” Fallon said as she accepted her brother’s warm embrace.

“A wise woman once said that a queen is never late, everyone else is simply early,” Kirby recited with a big smile, proud of her reference. Steven, Sammy Jo and Fallon all turned to look at her. Steven didn’t get it, Sam laughed and Fallon winked, or rather tried to wink, flattered that she had just been called a queen by her wife. 

“Fallon, you look stunning!” Steven said. He kissed her cheek and sat back down next to Sam.

“Yeah, you’ve got that pregnancy glow everyone’s always talking about!” Sam added, his index finger pointing up and down at her to show that she was looking great from head to toe.

Fallon turned to Kirby with a raised eyebrow. The redhead shrugged innocently. 

“What? Are we not allowed to call you beautiful?” Sam asked.

“Sure, you can call me beautiful,” Fallon conceded, walking to where Kirby was sitting. She didn’t sit down, but she positioned herself with half of her body leaning on the Australian, who automatically moved her arm around Fallon’s waist. 

“Before I forget, mom has been asking about you, Fal. She says you never call her back,” Steven said.  
  
She rolled her eyes before grabbing some appetizers. Sam joined her with a big smile. As usual, he was excited for the food and he knew that Kirby and Fallon weren’t the type to let him or his stomach down. Kirby glared at Steven. Way to not upset her wife!

“She misses you, you know? She worries about you.” Steven continued, ignoring his sister-in-law / half-sister.

“Can we please talk about anything else?” Fallon whined. 

Kirby put a reassuring hand on Fallon’s thigh and gently tapped her fingers on her skin, a familiar gesture she liked to use to discreetly calm the other woman down.

“All I’m saying is it’d be nice if you’d call her. I know she’d really appreciate it.”

“I get it, Steven,” Fallon said, visibly annoyed. “I’ll call her next week.”

Steven smiled. Alexis and Fallon were the most important women in his life and he hated to see them fight. He knew their relationship had always been complicated, but a part of him still hoped that someday things would be different. Fallon loved to call him naive for it. Deep down, they both knew that she loved Alexis. Their issues had never been about love. But no matter what it was exactly, it was something only mother and daughter could fix. He knew that, but it didn’t stop him from trying to push them toward one another.

“Let’s toast!” Kirby said, reaching for a glass of sparkling grape juice. She handed it to the brunette. “This is for you.”

“Great,” Fallon mumbled, but she relaxed a little when she saw Kirby grab a glass of the same drink.

“We’re in this together, remember?” Kirby whispered into her ear. She gave her a kiss on the cheek that turned into a kiss on the lips when Fallon turned her head and for a second they both forgot that they had guests over.

“Aw!” Sam exclaimed. The girls stopped kissing and looked at him. Steven laughed. “Did I ruin the moment?” He asked, innocent. 

“It’s ok,” Kirby assured him. “Let’s drink!” She raised her glass. 

“To my beautiful sisters and my beautiful baby niece or nephew on the way!” Steven said.

“Cheers!” Sam added before they all happily clinked their glasses together.

The tension in the room brought on by the mention of Alexis quickly evaporated. Fallon was happy to spend the evening with some of the people she loved most. Kirby was surprised to even see her laugh for the first time this week. Maybe the night would go well after all, and Fallon’s mood would be good for the rest of the weekend. At least, that’s what she hoped for until she heard Sammy Jo mentioning Fallon’s small baby bump. Of course, it was meant as a compliment, but based on the way her wife immediately tensed up, Kirby knew she wasn’t taking it as such. 

“How about we move to the table?” Kirby asked, getting up. “Dinner is ready!”

The two women exchanged a look. Fallon was pouting and the redhead winked playfully at her. Sam was the last one to get up, so before he headed to the table to sit down, Kirby made sure Fallon had already turned her back to them and she gave him a little slap on the arm. 

“What the hell?” Sam cried dramatically, grabbing his arm like he had just been punched.

“Did it hurt?” Kirby asked.

“Yes!”

“Good. Now, play nice and don’t upset Fallon,” she whispered threateningly.

Steven sat next to Fallon, across from Sam and Kirby. Once the vegan lasagna was brought to the table and all of them were served, they chatted happily for at least an hour, sharing stories, cracking jokes and even reminiscing with family memories. Everyone agreed that Kirby had outdone herself with the lasagna, making her blush with pride. The cooking lessons her father had given her a few years back were finally paying off. Ever since getting married, she had truly become a domestic goddess, especially excelling in the kitchen. She loved inviting people over and cooking for them, she also loved simply cooking for Fallon and herself. With her newfound talent, she had been able to turn more than one basic evening into a sweet date night. A good meal and some candles were all she really needed to sweep Fallon off her feet these days and Kirby wasn’t afraid to use and abuse her power. She usually got extra points if the name of the dish sounded Italian or French.

The plates had just been changed for dessert and Sam was in the middle of telling a story about some clients and an emergency that happened at the hotel a few days ago. A lady got her hair stuck in the zipper of her husband’s pants. They first called reception to ask for a pair of scissors and later called back to book a hairstylist in the middle of the night due to the wife being extremely upset about her new amateur haircut. 

“Oh my god,” Steven exclaimed in between laughter. “That reminds me of you two,” he said, agitating his fingers between Fallon and Kirby. 

“What?” Fallon asked. She wiped a few tears away, after laughing a little too hard. “How?” Nothing like that had ever happened to them. She would remember.

“I think you were ten and you put something sticky in Kirby’s hair during one of your piano lessons. What was it again? Glue?” Steven looked at Kirby who was only just now recovering from Sam’s story. She shook her head. “Not glue?” Steven asked.

“It was gum,” Kirby corrected, catching her breath.

“No way!” Sam looked at Fallon with wide eyes. “Gum is impossible to get off!” 

“Yeah, I think we all figured that out when Anders had to give Kirby bangs.” Steven nodded. “Anders is good at so many things, but cutting hair isn’t one of them.” 

Steven and Sam laughed again. Kirby started giggling too but she quickly stopped when she noticed that Fallon’s mood had suddenly dropped again. She was looking intently at her empty plate.

“But wait, what happened? Why did you throw gum in her hair?” Sammy Jo asked, looking at his sister-in-law and obviously interested in the details of the story. 

“Kirby was better at playing _Au clair de la Lune_ and Fallon got annoyed. They were always bickering about something back then and pulling tricks on each other,” Steven explained. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s the last time you took a piano lesson together, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer and continued adding a few more details he remembered, making himself and Sam laugh uncontrollably.

Meanwhile, all of Kirby’s attention was focused on Fallon. She could see her getting a little more upset at every new piece of information Steven was telling Sam. The Australian tried to discreetly warn Steven in an attempt to shut him up, but it was too late. 

“Damn, Fallon! You really were a bitch when you were a kid,” Sam joked, unknowingly pushing her over the edge.  
  
She suddenly and loudly pulled her chair away from the table and got up. Without a word or a look at anyone, Fallon walked out of the dining room and ran upstairs, leaving everyone else completely silent. Steven and Sam had abruptly stopped laughing and were now staring at each other in disbelief. 

Kirby threw her napkin on the table and sat back for a minute. “I told you she was sensitive,” she said calmly. 

“But… we were just joking,” Sam said. “She was laughing with us just a minute ago.”

“I’ll go talk to her.” Kirby got up and gave an apologetic look at her guests. After all, it wasn’t entirely their fault. And yes, she had promised to kill them if they made Fallon cry tonight, but she could tell by the expression on their faces that both Steven and Sam were feeling extremely guilty for upsetting the other woman. Considering how she had been in their shoes more than once the past week, she didn’t have the heart to add to their guilt. 

“Don't worry, guys, she’s not mad at you. She’s just a little… on edge.”

Kirby left their guests in the dining room and ran up the stairs to follow Fallon to the first floor. She peeked inside their room, convinced she would find her curled up in their bed, her face buried in her pillow. However, the bed was empty. Kirby turned around, eyebrows raised. Where did Fallon go? She didn’t have to think too long about it because she quickly noticed that the door leading to the room across the hallway was slightly open and a faded light was coming out. Kirby walked to the door and slowly pushed it. 

Fallon was sitting on a rocking chair, holding a fluffy teddy bear tight against her chest. The room was packed with packages that hadn’t been open yet, things they had ordered for the baby, furniture waiting to be put together. Fallon had turned a night light on. It was a little rainbow with clouds and it kept changing color, turning the room into a different color of the rainbow every minute or so. When Kirby walked in, the nursery was blue.

“Hey,” Kirby whispered. She sat down on the floor, right at Fallon’s feet, and rested her head against her legs. Neither one of them said anything for a couple of minutes. Then, Kirby pulled her head back a little and tried looking at Fallon in the dark. The room was now purple. “Are you ok?”

Fallon didn’t answer right away, but she reached for Kirby’s hair and started playing with it, coiling a small section of it around her fingers, letting it go, and then repeating the gesture over and over. “How can you love me?” She finally asked, her voice breaking a little.

“Fallon…” Kirby didn’t know how to respond to that. How could she _not_ love her? Fallon was the love of her life; they had been married for almost three years now, officially dating for five. They knew everything about each other and shared memories from every stage of their lives, even the parts they had missed because they had spent countless nights and even entire days telling each other stories, and it now felt like they had never been apart. She loved her for so many reasons, the first one being that there was no one else in the world who could make her feel as loved and safe as Fallon did. She was her home. The world could end tomorrow, it wouldn’t matter as long as they were together. She loved her strength and how intelligent she was. She loved her sense of humor, even when no else thought she was funny. She loved her for all the little things of their everyday life: the morning kisses and the cuddles in bed; the way Fallon always held her hand with their fingers intertwined; how she looked at her when she entered a room; her little pouting face she knew Kirby couldn’t resist even if she was mad at her; the random texts telling her how much she missed her and how she couldn’t wait to come home to her later; the pep talks before important meetings; the sweet “I love you”s she whispered in her sleep; how she let her win when they played games sometimes because even though she hated losing, she loved Kirby more; how much she enjoyed helping her brush her hair at night and the ways she was the absolute best at scratching her back when it itched, always ending the moment with a series of kisses along her spine… Just like Kirby’s love for Fallon, the list was endless.

“I’m so awful,” Fallon added.

“You are not!” Kirby said vigorously.

“Sam is right, I was the biggest bitch to you growing up. I hurt you.” 

“Fallon, this was years ago. The gum thing is kind of funny when I think about it now,” Kirby offered. “We both did some pretty nasty things to each other as kids, but it doesn’t stop me from having many fond memories of growing up at the manor. We fought, but it wasn’t always bad.”

“I was so mean…”

“You were a child,” Kirby reasoned. 

“You got sent back to Australia because of me,” Fallon said quickly, still trying to prove to the other woman how much of a bad person she was.

“Your mom set me up. Remember the baby shower we’re supposed to pretend never happened?” Kirby smirked. Oh, the memories...

“We’re not throwing one for me.” Fallon shook her head. No way. Baby showers were now a big no-no in the Carrington-Anders family. 

“Right, no baby shower, but I’m taking us on a babymoon for sure!” 

“I don’t deserve you,” Fallon concluded, a hint of sadness still obviously lingering in her voice.

Kirby sat up and pulled herself onto her knees, turning around completely to look at the other woman. “I love you so much. Do you understand?”

Fallon said nothing.

“I’m serious,” Kirby insisted. She stood back up and grabbed the teddy bear that was still on Fallon’s lap, dropped it on the floor, and held her hand out for Fallon to take. Once they were both standing, Kirby kissed the brunette on the forehead and wrapped her arms around her, her chin fitting perfectly on the bridge of Fallon’s nose. They were like two pieces of the same puzzle.

“I’m sorry for everything I did when we were younger. You deserved a better friend,” Fallon mumbled in Kirby’s neck. They were still holding each other tight, standing in the middle of the unfinished nursery for their unborn child. 

“I wouldn’t change a thing. You grew up to be my perfect wife and you are my best friend for life now,” Kirby told her. “I win.”

Fallon pulled back, just enough to look at Kirby. She stood on her tippy toes and kissed her.

“I won too,” Fallon said.

Time stopped for a moment. All they cared about was being there for each other. Kirby held on to Fallon and refused to let go for a good five minutes. The shorter woman may have been the one who needed a lot of reassurance lately, but the Australian was the one who needed all of the hugs and physical contact. Kirby had always been very cuddly, but it was even more intense since finding out that her wife was pregnant with their baby. She just wanted her arms around her or her hands on her at all times. 

After some negotiating, Fallon agreed to get back downstairs to Steven and Sam. She was embarrassed for the way she had acted, but Kirby convinced her they would understand. Fallon didn’t want her brother and Sam to feel guilty any longer. When they walked down the stairs and back to the living room, they found Steven sitting on their couch, his hands going in circles in Sammy’s hair. Sammy Jo was lying down with his head resting on Steven’s lap. As soon as they noticed the girls, they both jumped right back up, visibly concerned. 

“Fallon,” Steven started.

“I’m sorry,” she said before he even got the chance to add anything. “I don’t know what got into me. I shouldn’t have gotten mad over that silly story,” she shrugged. She looked at her wife. “I’ve been feeling very…” She seemed to be looking for the right word.

“...Godzilla?” Sam asked, giggling.

Kirby’s mouth dropped and she immediately reached forward to hit him in the arm again. Harder. Sam squealed in pain, making everyone else laugh. 

“I guess you could say a little Godzilla,” Fallon agreed, still laughing.

“Well, we totally understand. Don’t worry, Fal’. We’re just happy to know you’re not mad at us and that you’re ok,” Steven said, looking at his sister with attention. “We love you.”

“Yes, we do!” Sam chipped in, just recovering from the vicious and unfair attack his arm had suffered from. “We have a present for you!” He turned around and grabbed a bag from behind the sofa and handed it to Kirby. 

The two women looked at each other with a tiny smile and then silently agreed to open it. Kirby pulled a box out of the bag and Fallon pulled the top of it off to reveal the present. It was a tiny white baby bodysuit with a message written in the front: ‘My uncles love me’. There was a small fluffy heart right under the lettering. Kirby rubbed her fingers on it and her smile grew wider.

“This is so soft,” she said. “Thank you so much!” She turned to Fallon and saw that she was in tears yet again.

“I’m so tired of crying,” the brunette sobbed. “But this is so…” she hiccuped. “... cute!” She reached her arms out to hug Steven, meanwhile Kirby hugged Sam. 

“You’re going to be the best moms,” Steven said after they finished exchanging embraces and thank yous.

“And we can’t wait to be the best uncles!” Sammy added. He moved one arm around Steven and held him close. Maybe someday they would give this baby a little cousin.

The night went on with a few more tears, but only happy ones, lots of laughter and several hugs from everyone. When Kirby and Fallon went to bed, they agreed that nothing could possibly make them happier than having the support of their family. The evening had been chaotic, but it was perfect in their eyes. Fallon fell asleep quickly, almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, leaving Kirby to her thoughts, or more accurately, with one question that made her face hurt from smiling and her heart ache from the overflowing happiness she felt: how lucky was this baby to be so loved already?


End file.
